Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Head lead soul hole.

This week, I am not coping. With anything. Right now I should be at work, but I am in bed, still in my work clothes, curtains closed, light off. There are tears, and there is pain. I am hurting.

The worst thing is that my life is going wonderfully. I have it all. The job, the friends, the flat, the boy. This week, though, it is not enough. I am empty.. or overflowing, perhaps. I can't tell. I don't want to tell. I just want to hide under my duvet and listen to the rain and hope that my mind drifts elsewhere. Anywhere.

I know it seems ungrateful. I know it seems dreadfully first-world. The inescapable fact, though, is that right now, I am not okay.

My head is full of lead and my soul is just a hole.

1 comment:

  1. Darling, if you have "the grey mist" (as I call it) when everything else is good, seek help. One person is sometimes not enough to fight. Ask a friend to walk with you each day (one hour in the sun, and some company and exersize). See your doctor, take a break. Stay away from negative stuff (only you know what bothers you) and seek out the positive. You can do this, because you are fucking AWESOME.
    Much love from me. Xoxo