This entire 'strangers caring about what I have to say' experience has been utterly bizarre and excruciatingly uncomfortable, in a number of ways, but I have learned a lot and for that I am grateful. Mostly, though, I am grateful to everyone who read my letter. Thank you, to everyone who read what I had to say and thought it was worth sharing. Thank you especially to those of you who put me forward as a representative to speak on your behalf. It was an honour, though a thoroughly undeserved one. But now that I know that my sentiments are echoed by so many of you, I will do what I can to make myself (ourselves?) heard.
RIGHT. NOW. MOVING SWIFTLY AND PERMANENTLY ONWARDS.
The letter that comes after 'I' is 'J' and the best thing that starts with 'J' is Jackson James Wood.
This is him.
He is a boy. Apparently he likes me which is quite cool because I like him too. I met him when we both went to the movies with our mutual wonderful friend Fiona. I didn't really like him that much at first but he grew on me and now I like him quite a lot.
One time he roasted me a duck. A more different time he sent me a pukeko in the post.
I can tell I like him because usually when my phone rings I ignore it, but when it's him I smile and answer it.
It's a bit sad because I didn't really realise I liked him that much until I moved away from him and now we live far far apart and I miss him every day.
He's pretty clever and funny. For ages he was Dr Brash on Twitter and I knew that but I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. One day he is going to be a Green MP and then he is going to save the world.
He's also pretty much the most tolerant man I have ever met and that's probably actually why we're still dating because I am Incredibly Hard Work and Something Of A Nightmare At Times but he is always patient and kind and gentle and he can fix anything and make me smile even when I have the ultimate sads. And when he calls me up and he says "What can I do?" I know that he would really do anything and somehow that fixes things a little, all on its own.
All these feelings are making me uncomfortable so I will now show you a picture of some more excellent Js and then we can be done.