Saturday, January 21, 2012

(twenty) Three simple words.

How often have you said 'I love you' and meant exactly and only that? Far more often, in my experience at least, the words 'I love you' are followed by a silent clause. I love you, when... I love you, unless... I love you, so... I love you, if... I love you, because...

I love you, when you're sober. I love you, unless you're with somebody else. I love you, so you have to love me back. I love you, so you have to commit to me. I love you, if you'll change. I love you, if that's what I have to do to make you love me. I love you, because you love me. I love you, because you'll never leave me. I love you, because you're my family, so I must, right? I love you, because what if you're the only person who will ever love me back?

I can think of very few times in my life when I have said 'I love you' without silently completing the sentence in my mind, whether I knew it or not. 'I love you' without expectations, conditions, specifiers. No 'ifs', 'but's, 'when's, 'only's, 'because's, 'so's, or 'except's. But the moments when I have said 'I love you' and meant simply that, those have been the best moments. Because loving someone exactly as they are, no matter what they do*, is incredibly freeing, both for the lover, and the loved.

My life** resolution: drop the rest of the sentence. Only say 'I love you' if I can say it without a silent clause.  Or, if there must be one: I love you, completely and utterly, exactly as you are, no matter what*.

*unless they kill my bestie or purposely run over a hedgehog.
**yes, LIFE resolution, because the odds of me saying 'I love you' in the foreseeable future, even with an entire list of clauses, are so small we might as well just go with 'nonexistent'.

1 comment:

  1. Then there's the 'I love you' that ends with 'even though I wish I didn't'.